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The Future of Internet Dating: French Kissing Online the Japanese Way on May. 10, 2011

Website designers are a unique bunch. While most red-blooded American males get excited about a blond with long legs or lunch at Hooters, the gents in the Trademark Productions office become hot and bothered about 301 redirects and Vanilla forums…which is pretty vanilla to me. The pleasant irony is that some of these guys are married or have stated that they’re in long-term relationships. Not that we’ve been able verify that they haven’t shelled out funds for someone to be seen on camera with them for their Facebook page. Anyway, there’s been an advancement made in Japan for people who are involved in long-distance dating…or who are dating anonymously for their own anonymous reasons…or alleged self-professed computer techies.

Are you ready for this? It’s a funky looking device with a straw that you roll around in your mouth to simulate French kissing while the person on the opposite end with a similar device has the signal transmitted that allows it to roll around their mouth. This will either induce ecstasy…or stares of folks somewhat grossed out by the sight of a straw moving on its own. Best of all, you can store the kiss information—presumably if it’s any good—and play it over and over again. I’m guessing that’ll be in private.

And as odd as this whole thing sounds, think for a moment about the applications. Look what Twitter did. Celebrity tweets or sponsored tweets? If this odd device catches on, what would people pay to share a long distance pre-recorded kiss with Justin Bieber or Brad Pitt? And what if you could record and savor a kiss from a lover long gone—stalker much?—or who passes away? Okay, that just got creepy.

Does this all sound too bizarre for you? Check out the Youtube video and see it for yourself. Leave it to the Japanese to reinvent dating. I shudder to think of what’s next, though I have a notion or two.

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